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You probably haven’t given that little
scar on your abdomen much thought until retro low-rise jeans came onto the
scene. That little twist of tummy tissue is a reminder you were at one time
completely dependent on someone else for life, nourishment, and protection. Your
independence began when the doctor (or your dad) clipped the umbilical cord.
Since then, you’ve been connected through an emotional umbilical cord to those
who have provided direction and nurturing throughout your years. If you’re
moving away to school, it’s time for a little emotional surgery. Don’t
worry, here’s the anesthetic.
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The entire “moving away”
process is bittersweet. You are eager to launch out on your own, yet there is a
need for security, a desire to be mentored. You crave to prove yourself
responsible for your own decisions, but you are overwhelmed with how much there
is to learn about life. You feel prepared to handle new experiences with a
certain level of confidence. There’s something down deep yearning to leave
roots of established relationships and familiar territory behind.
You squint your eyes in puzzled
disbelief as your parents sling a barrage of questions and statements your way
that you determine to be condescending: “Do you have enough underwear? Will
you be okay changing a tire on your own? Can you keep up with your laundry? Be
careful in your selection of friends! Do you need more school supplies? What
about taking an extra umbrella? Don’t forget to pack deodorant! You will try
to eat your vegetables while you’re in college, won’t you?”
You think, “What’s the
problem?!?! Don’t they trust me? Don’t they think I can handle it? Where do
they get off telling me what to do?” Realize this through all you do: the
invisible umbilical cord can stretch great distances. It can follow you wherever
you go.
Topics covered:
- How
to stay connected
- Visiting
frequency
- Freedom
vs. accountability
- Breaking
barriers in family relationships
“Really think about the investment your parents, the government (through
financial aid), donors
(university scholarships) and you yourself are making in yourself to
receive an education. This is a BIG deal.” - Jill, East Texas
Baptist
University
“You see how much your family means to you while you are away from home.” -
Citlalic, The
Catholic
University
of America
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